Tell the world I'm coming home; {Open!}

[elliot nathaniel merrick]

I'm coming home I'm coming h o m e
Tell the w o r l d I'm coming home
• • • • •

The morning light seemed impossibly bright as Elli rolled over in his bed. He had barely rested all night with the memories of all the pain he'd felt and caused over the years weighing heavily on his mind. Finally he had given up trying to close his eyes and spent the night curled up next to a passed out Matty shivering from his nerves. Finally the sun had begun to peek over the horizon and he knew he needed to get up. He needed to go walk, clear his head, just leave this place for a while. He gently slipped out of his bed, careful not to wake up Matty. Elli's feet made no sound on the plush carpet as he made his way to the closet, gently creaking as he opened it. He pulled out a pair of acid washed jeans, a love potion number 9 tee and his Hollister fur rimmed hoodie.

He moved into the bathroom and changed applying some denim color eyeshadow, black mascara, and a little lip gloss. He leaned around the corner when he heard a soft murmur from the bed. A half-hearted smile graced Elli's lips as he brushed his hair and made his way to his vanity where his jewelry was. He slipped in a pair of yellow gold rose earrings and headed for the kitchen to grab his Chanel purse. He glanced down at the kitchen table and his face screwed up in pain as he looked at the ring Matty had bought him last night and what led to their argument. How the hell could he keep doing this to Matty? His fingers grazed the ring and he read the inscription on the front 'Nobody can hurt me without my permission'. He felt a small hiccup as he tried not to cry, knowing how much the phrase meant to him with all he'd been through. He turned the ring over and saw where Ghandi was inscribed on one side of the inside of the ring and 'Never far away' on the other side of the inside of the ring.

He thought back to the night before when Elli had woken up to find it on his nightstand with a note from Matty telling him that he hoped he liked it and that Elli was never far from his heart and mind. Elli had freaked out and left it on the kitchen table. When Matty came in and saw it you could see the hurt in his eyes and Elli showed no sympathy. He screamed at Matty, telling him that buying him things wouldn't change their status, would not make Elli love him. He meant to say 'love him more' but said the most hurtful thing possible out of anger. Matty had stormed off crying and Elli hadn't seen him till he felt his lover lay on the bed that night. Elli bit his lip, slipping the ring on his engagement finger just to see how it would look. Finally he slid it over his ring finger and headed out the door. His beige heels made a clicking sound against the wooden floor as he shut the door behind him, leaving his lover alone..again.

He made his way to the park, just trying to get away from the house. Why was he such a terrible person? How could he say those things to Matty and why did Skroddle never leave him? He was in love with Matty, my god how much he was in love with that red headed imp, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. To just tell Matty he loved him, that he wanted to wake up in Matty's arms every morning and kiss his lips before he went to sleep. He absently fingered the locket around his neck, something Matty had bought him on his birthday several months ago. There was no telling how long it took him to save up for it, though as far as he knew it was in a back drawer. The metal was warm where it had been against his skin since the day after his birthday. Suddenly a crack overhead caused him to realize the sun had been muted out by clouds. And it began to rain, softly at first, a sprinkle. Then it began pouring and he could do nothing but stand there. He turned his face up to the sky, sure this was a sign from some Higher Power of what he needed to do. That he needed to make a fresh start and open his heart like the sky above him.

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• • • • •
Let the r a i n wash away
All the p a i n of yesterday

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words || 741
tag || Open!
outfit || Here!
lyrics || I'm Coming Home - P. Diddy
credit || i.forgive.you @ CAUTION 2.0
notes || Elliot wants to make new beginnings