demolition lovers [lexy]

[blaine mackinnley o'callaghan]

If it looks like I'm laughing

I'm really just asking to leave

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“Fuck this” Blaine cursed as he kicked a pile of Lexy’s stuff out of his way. Her makeup, her clothes, various shit she had that Blaine didn’t even understand now filled his bedroom and the rest of his flat. Where once lay beercans and ashtrays now lived hair products and shoes. Why did girls need so much stuff? Why did Lexy need so much stuff.

Deep down, Blaine knew this anger wasn’t really about his girlfriend’s possessions. Her few items of clothing and bits and pieces were hardly enough to tip anyone over the edge. No, this resentment stemmed from something much deeper. With their ever more domesticated relationship, Blaine found himself feeling more and more trapped. Rather than embracing having someone in his life, he felt like he was slowly drowning in the murky sea of responsibility and adulthood. He may have practically brought his brother up but caring about and loving someone still felt like far too unfamiliar territory to Blaine. Living with Lexy day in, day out, Blaine felt like he was being slowly suffocated. Perhaps it was just fear of the unknown but this whole relationship deal was sitting completely uncomfortably. He liked Lexy, of course he did. Did he love her? Blaine wasn’t sure. It was difficult after all to know what love was when you have never been loved or in love.

He must have cared about her, for if not he would have just told her it was over. There had to be something there, holding this relationship together no matter how much Blaine tried to pull away from it. But what that something was, he wasn’t sure. At the moment he didn’t care, he had been holding everything back for too long and now it had all seemed to erupt as an agsty feeling of hatrid. He hated feeling like this, he hated letting Lexy down. She deserved a lot more than a commitment-phobe dickhead who had no knowledge of the word ‘love’. That’s why his plan had formed as it had.

Free from the mutual clutter of their bedroom, Blaine carried the few pieces he had picked up towards the kitchen and grabbed a spoon. In his head it made sense. He would hand the reins to Lexy- let her see him for who he really was and let her make the choice to leave. Dumping her would have been too cruel, Blaine told himself. In reality it was perhaps just too difficult. He would take the cowardly way out instead. Sitting down on the sofa, Blaine laid everything out on the coffee table in an oddly neat arrangement. A juxtaposition, perhaps, against the mess he was about to cause. Blaine tipped a small amount of the dark powder from the clear bag and onto the spoon, proceeding to flick his lighter and hold it underneath. Slowly the powder began to melt, Blaine transfixed by it as all reason seemed to disappear from his head. Lexy would come home, find him, dump him and move out. Everything would be sorted. Blaine wouldn’t have to ever confront his demons, confront the reasons why he was so resistant to love and be loved. And Lexy would never have to endure the pain of being dumped.

With the plan seemingly failsafe and the powder now having melted into a dark liquid, Blaine placed the spoon down and got himself ready. He could have backed out, realised what a mistake he was making but with the belt tightened around his arm, Blaine was charging on ahead. With no last pause for regrets, Blaine filled the syringe and plunged it into his arm, pushing the liquid into his veins and lying back to enjoy the euphoria.

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[lexy katrina hampton]

This alone, you're in time for the show.

You're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe.

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Lexy felt like her entire body was alive and buzzing. She had never felt better, nothing was exciting as the rush she got from being on the stage. The pure adrenaline that kicked in when the crowd cheered and then went silent as they began to play. Lexy was high, she was high off the adrenaline of being on stage. A natural high with no bad side effects, not a high that would kill her insides. She got the feeling just from doing what she loved, and was so talented at.

Within the past few months live had gotten exceedingly better for Lexy. Her band had kicked off and gotten some gigs and were the new talk of the town, and she had met Blaine. Even if he was the type of boy her mother had warned her about, Lexy was head over heels for him. She didn't want to admit she was in love, but she was. Even if she was over all happy with her band, she would leave it if he asked her to do so. He made her happy... Or at least most days. Lexy was a little upset that he hadn't come to one of her biggest gigs yet, but she was trying to get over it.

That didn't stop her from wanting to throw a few things when she found out. It had pissed her off, and it had upset her. She was mostly upset her, because she wanted to impress him so much with her band, and her skills as a guitarist. Instead he had stayed home, missing it all. Instead of telling him and causing a fight she had backed away, and took her anger out on her guitar. She played with the emotions and feelings she felt.

The song ended, the lights dimmed, and the crowd cheered. Lexy took a bow, and walked off stage wither her band-mates. Now that it was over she felt empty, but powerful and accomplished. Each time she felt as if she was going to faint before the song ended but she didn't, she played through. She always felt so awesome, so amazing afterwards. She hugged her band-mates and put her stuff away, in a daze. She felt a smile consume her face on her drive home.

Nothing seemed off when she arrived, except the place was dirty. Lexy didn't find the time to clean, and didn't expect Blaine to do it. Speaking of Blaine, where was he? Lexy set down her guitar case on the couch and looked in the kitchen, it was empty. She pulled open the door and was astounded by what she saw. She dropped her purse, and felt anger go through her in a surge that felt like lightning. "You motherfucker!" Lexy felt like she wanted to scream, break every thing, but it only came out in a shaky voice.

All the evidence was there, Blaine was at it again, the usual drugs of course. "What hell?! You loser, I trusted you. I thought you were better, different. But no, you're go and do this and ruin it. You ruin yourself. You cause all these damn problems. Because you are a fucking loser. " She felt tears in her eyes, they were stinging. She tried to to hide them as she raged about the room. picking up her stuff.

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[blaine mackinnley o'callaghan]

If it looks like I'm laughing

I'm really just asking to leave

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With the sound of the front door, Blaine flickered into some sense of consciousness. He wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d pushed the heroin into his veins; drugs seem to remove all sense of time from the body. In fact they seemed to remove everything from the body; the worries, the concerns, the hate. He was just riding this cloud of contentment, unsure if anything could bring him down. But, as Lexy walked into the room, Blaine certainly felt his mood slip. This was meant to be easy for her, make the decision to leave simple and pain free. But with her eye suddenly glazing over and her voice shaking with emotion, Blaine figured this wasn’t entirely painless.

It must have been a few hours since he’d injected as Blaine was feeling the effects of the drugs quickly wearing off as his girlfriend ranted furiously at him. He was a loser, he couldn’t really argue with that. Slumped on his sofa with the belt still around his arm and the syringe lying discarded next to him, Blaine could hardly deny any of what Lexy said about him. But the fiery Irishman still couldn’t just stay quiet, however true everything she said was.

”Well fucking leave then” Blaine slurred in such drawling Irish that if Lexy hadn’t known him so well she probably wouldn’t have even been able to decipher it. ”If I’m such a fucking loser then just go”

And looking at her beginning to pick up her things, that seemed to be the way this was heading. Lexy was the one good thing that had ever happened to him and he was set on driving her away. She was beautiful, kind, smart and talented. And for some unbeknown reason she liked Blaine. Yet all he wanted was to push her away. It made no sense, not on the surface at least. Perhaps underneath, it was quite normal that a kid who had never known love from the day he was born might find closeness difficult. That a guy who had only cared for his brother and was rewarded with resentment might be reluctant to show his emotions again. But that Lexy probably couldn’t understand. To her, he was just a dickhead. In all honesty, he probably was just a dickhead.

Blaine watched her pick up her things silently. Backtracking was not his style. He was way too stubborn to apologise for his outbursts or his behaviour in general so now they both had to just live with what had been said. And if that was the end of it, so be it. That’s what he wanted after all, right?

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[lexy katrina hampton]

This alone, you're in time for the show.

You're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe.

[/b][/i][/font]

If Lexy had come home and she saw another women in Blaine's bed she wouldn't be as upset, but drugs she just couldn't stand. Him cheating on her wouldn't jeopardize his life as much as drugs did, and maybe that's why she was so upset. She didn't really know. Since she was already sort of mad at him, this was just the last straw. There were just certain things she wasn't going to take, things that she was not going to put up with. She had been nothing but nice, loving, trusting and compassion with Blaine. Now she was just done. She was already thinking that she could never forgive him, that she could never live with someone who did such a thing to themselves, she could never live with someone who hurt her so much.

She picked up her stuff, clothes, pictures, any other trinkets she had. Lexy was trying so hard to not let the tears come out, she didn't want to him to see her cry. She was obviously the foolish one, trusting someone she met in a pub for hells sake. It was all over, she felt her like her chest was about to collapse from all the heartache she was feeling. Lexy had been so much better off when she didn't let anyone in, when she kept herself locked away in her house. She stomped around, angry. She kept herself angry, thinking of all the bad things so that way she wouldn't cry, she wouldn't feel remorse.

With a heavy hurt and sad eyes she turned back around to see Blaine, trying not to look directly at him. " I don't understand why you would do this. Why you have to ruin everything when you seriously had something going for you. You just wont let yourself be hit was happy. It's like you are mentally disabled, you aren't right in the O'Callaghan. I don't think you ever will be." Her voice held no emotion, and it only trembled a bit at the end. She swallowed her tears and gritted her teeth.She dropped her stuff long enough to find a suitcase and to put it in, since it was a little to much to just carry. Lexy had no clue where she was going to go, but maybe she could call one of her friends and they would let her in for a while. "I just can't believe I let myself fall in love with such a fucktard." Lexy snapped, as she started throwing things in the bag.

[blaine mackinnley o'callaghan]

If it looks like I'm laughing

I'm really just asking to leave

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Breaking Lexy’s heart had never been Blaine’s intention. Blaine was many things; selfish, stupid, grouchy and bad tempered to name but a few, but malicious he was not. He never set out in life to hurt people, but somehow it seemed to inevitably end up that way. He perhaps had a destructive personality- the sort of person who just brings difficulty to any situation they were in. Perhaps, like Lexy suggested, he just couldn’t let himself be happy. And the reluctance to make himself happy invariably rubbed off as misery on the people around him.

Blaine had never really thought about this before- whether he had some deep seated ‘need’ to be unhappy. In some ways it made sense- he did seem to back out of any situation which could turn his life around for the better. He seemed to thrive on making life difficult for himself. He’d piled the attention on Lexy, got her where he wanted and then baulked when things actually seemed to be going somewhere. But then with his dad in prison, his mum probably drunk in some gutter, Oz out screwing his life up and Adele getting herself into improbable trouble, it seemed a little wrong for Blaine to be happy. He had, in his mind after all, played some part in the downfall of all of these people. How could Blaine play contented, domesticated boyfriend when everyone around him was so fucked up?

Everyone, that was, apart from Lexy. The girl hadn’t exactly seemed to have it easy herself. The details were a sensitive subject but Blaine knew at least that she’d ran from her parents and her home. It was hardly the most conventional upbringing either, yet Lexy was so..normal. She didn’t seem to carry the same emotional baggage. She was sweet, caring and hopeful; a sharp contrast to the bitter cynicism of her boyfriend.

Blaine clenched and flexed his hand, trying to rid the pins and needles which had come from leaving the make shift tourniquet around his arm for too long. ”Well at least I won’t be dragging you down with me” he grunted in retort to her rants, watching her pile her belongings into her arms

With Lexy’s next words though, Blaine gulped a little. Fallen in love. Exactly what he hadn’t wanted her to say. That placed far too much emotional strain on this conversation. He thought for a second about this before answering back ”You don’t love me Lexy. His words may be tumbling over each other in a drug induced slur but his tone was determined. “You’ll fucking find someone who deserves you and you’ll realise you never loved me. I’m a fucking waste of space Lexy. Go and fucking find someone worth your time.” As if exhausted from his outburst in his still delicate state, Blaine shut his eyes, continuing to exercise his hand back into life. Undoubtedly Lexy would take ages to pack, but he wished she would just leave now. For the longer she stayed, the longer Blaine had to weigh up what a shitty person he was.

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[lexy katrina hampton]

This alone, you're in time for the show.

You're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe.

[/b][/i][/font]
Lexy felt like she was running on pure anger, all her other feelings were absolutely gone. Her suit case was filled, or at least full enough to get her by. She didn’t want anything that she had bought during her time in this house, just anything she had come here with. Lexy had spent most of her life telling herself she didn’t need anyone, so why was a guy any different? She angrily threw her black hair up into a ponytail. There was no difference, none at all. She was an independent person since the age of sixteen, a few more years wouldn’t hurt her. She was happy alone; she didn’t have to listen to anyone, or care about anyone, or worry about anyone. She only had to worry about herself, and she never ran into the chance to hurt someone. But after being closed off to everyone, she finally found a way to hurt herself again. She let herself get hurt, and there was no one else to blame but herself.

Running from her parents hadn’t been a spur of the moment thing. It had been a collective build that drove her crazy, so she left. Her parents had absolutely despised her; they didn’t like her style, her choices, down to the way she breathed. So after a year she left. Lexy looked tiny and innocent, but she was tough. She’d lived on the streets, she knew how to party, and she was far from being an innocent. She pulled of the show though, even though she didn’t choose the role she played. Her life hadn’t been easy, but she was the type of the girl to forget and move on. Unless you know, you made her want to kill you. Then it was pretty rare that Lexy would forget. She honestly didn’t know what to do anymore, or what to say. She just wanted out, she wanted to get out and move on before she did something that could get her jail time.

In response to Blaine, she rolled her eyes at him to start with. Something inside her pulled and for a mere second she felt herself struggle for control. Then in just another second, she felt the angry rise inside her, and her blood boiling. ”Even if I fucking hate it, I cannot tell you that I didn’t love you Blaine. “ She said, the hurt she felt still obvious. She swallowed her tears and zipped up the bag. She looked over at him and grimaced, she couldn’t look at him without a hurricane of emotions hitting her. ”Anyone is better than you, Blaine.” She hardly cared anymore, and she felt like everything she said was the truth. If she wanted to be upset and angry all the time, she would’ve stayed wither her parents. She picked up her bag and her purse to leave, but stopped just before she walked out the bedroom door. ”I hope that your rapidly approaching death comes fucking fast and painless so you don’t have to suffer.” Those were the last words she muttered before slamming the door and leaving the apartment one last time. Even if she felt like she wanted to wring his neck, Lexy wasn’t going to say she wanted him to suffer. It wasn’t her style.