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Post by dylan joshua mitchell on Jul 20, 2011 15:44:17 GMT -5
I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot
I guess not... [/font][/size][/center] Dylan checked himself out in the rear view mirror as he pulled into Sarah’s driveway, readjusting his hair vainly before switching off the engine and stepping out of the car, grabbing his bag of goodies before he slammed shut the door. From her texts Sarah had seemed pretty low, stuck inside with some sort of lurgy or other. Dylan was slightly wary of catching it himself but felt like he should probably make some effort to see her and try to cheer her up. He did at least try to be something that vaguely resembled a decent boyfriend after all.
Inside the bag he had packed up a couple of DVDs and a tube of Pringles for what he anticipated to be a chilled out movie afternoon and a box of Malteasers and a couple of gossip magazines for her for when he left. It was a kind of romantic gesture, in an entirely non-romantic Dylanish way. Still, he hoped that a bit of company might cheer her up even if his bag of treats didn’t. He could do with getting out of the house anyway- Nora was out and on his own he just tended to potter around aimlessly. It was better to be here than amusing himself doing something most likely inappropriate.
Dylan headed towards the door before pausing, thinking up an idea his immature mind found hugely amusing. He backed up, walking towards the garden and picking up a stone from the flower bed. It would be like Romeo and Juliet, he thought, lobbing the stone up at Sarah’s bedroom window. ”Sarah, Sarah!” he shouted “Where for art thou Sarah?!”. He grinned up at the window, quite proud of his little gesture. It was certainly more inventive than simply ringing the doorbell. Also, despite it appealing to Dylan in a merely childish way, it may well appeal to Sarah as some sort of cute and romantic idea. Maybe. Or she may just be pissed at him chucking stones at the window. Sometimes you just never knew with women. [/size] |
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Post by sarah on Jul 20, 2011 16:46:35 GMT -5
to you, i'll give the world  to you, i'll never be cold- - - - - - - - - - - - - - The thing about a serious illness is you never know when it hits hard. And it had hit Sarah only a few hours after she returned from her lunchdate with Dylan and Nora a few days ago. Since then, she had been in bed, not really getting up. Leukemia was a nasty disease and it would kill you in the long run and when Sarah felt like she felt now, she was certain that she could die every second. Sarah had only texted Dylan a few times these past few days and her texts had been short and not very pleasant, like they used to be. But today was maybe a bit better. Sarah tried standing up. It was with shaky legs, she walked over to her dresser and found a clean t-shirt and carefully took it over her head and then she heard something on her window. It sounded like either small pebbles being thrown or a fly trying to fly out through the window. Sarah walked over there with tiny steps and rolled the curtains away and saw Dylan throwing pebbles at the window. It made her smile for the first time in days and Sarah opened the window, just enough to hear him.
Sarah cleared her throat called to him; "Come on up, Dylan." She called, loud enough for him to hear, but instantly regretted as she looked at how her bedroom looked like. It was one big mess and a sick bowl was placed at the site of her bed. Sarah could live with being ill, but if there was one thing she really hated, it was throwing up. It drained her energy completely and gave her the worst headache ever. As she heard Dylan on the stairs, Sarah quickly grabbed the cold cloth and drove it over her forehead and threw it to some far corner. Then the door to her room opened and Sarah hurried over there and hugged him as tight as she could possibly manage and her tired eyes filled with tears that started running down her face. Now was a good to tell him,but where was she going to start? Right now, she just held him tight. |
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Post by dylan joshua mitchell on Jul 20, 2011 17:15:42 GMT -5
I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot
I guess not... [/font][/size][/center] Dylan smiled proudly as Sarah answered his taps on the bedroom window, nodding and heading inside once he had been invited in. He took the stairs two steps at a time, quickly making it to the upstairs landing and towards Sarah’s bedroom. ”Whoa, Sarah, hey!” Dylan exclaimed, holding his hands up in a surrender pose as the girl pounced on him and began sobbing into his chest as soon as he entered the room. That wasn’t exactly the sort of reception he had anticipated. He slowly moved his hands down onto her back, kind of half-patting, half-holding her in a rather bemused fashion. Was she overwhelmed by his Romeo and Juliet inspired greeting? He wouldn’t have bothered if he’d have known he would have a bawling woman to deal with as a result.
”It wasn’t that soppy was it?” he asked in a jokey yet confused tone. He scanned the room as he held her, his eyes setting on the sick bowl which sat on the middle of the bed. Nice. He wasn’t aware before he had arrived here that vomit had been part of the equation and wasn’t overly thrilled now to find he may now be holding her hair back as she spewed into a bucket. He couldn’t stand the thought of sick and the sound or smell of someone hurling was enough to make him too retch.
He tried to take his mind off that and looked down at Sarah, still quietly crying into his t-shirt. ”What’s up Sarah?” he enquired, losing the jokey approach and instead taking on a more serious and concerned tone of voice. This whole crying thing wasn’t really his deal but he did at least try, continuing to rub her back soothingly as she wept. |
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Post by sarah on Jul 20, 2011 17:41:16 GMT -5
to you, i'll give the world to you, i'll never be cold- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to invite him up? She wanted to know what her parents had told Dylan, but it wasn't the main point right now. It seemed all wrong for her to just crying into his chest. Especially with what he had just done at her window. It had been extremely romantic, but the fact that Dylan was here now was all that mattered. Sarah had no idea if, he had came just a few days later, Sarah would still be here. A small, relieved sigh escaped her lips. She shook her head. "It was all I could ever dream of, Dylan. Very romantic." That wasn't the reason why she was crying.
Then she realized about the sick bowl. What a great impression that gave him. Now, she couldn't hide it anymore. A loud sigh escaped her lips and she looked up at him. "I need to tell you something.. Something that you won't like. Come on.." Sarah said and pulled him over to her small two-person couch in the far end of the room. She sat down, facing him, taking a deep breath. "Dylan.. I'm.. sick." Sarah said and looked down, not facing him, while big tears ran down her cheek and she sobbed. "I should have told you before.. But... But, I never thought that I would.. actually fall in love." Sarah said and took a kleenex and dried her eyes, taking another deep breath, anxious to see his response. |
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Post by dylan joshua mitchell on Jul 21, 2011 16:11:46 GMT -5
I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot
I guess not... [/font][/size][/center] Dylan raised his eyebrow somewhat- he didn’t know much about love but he hadn’t thought lobbing a few bits of gravel up was all it took for fulfil a woman’s romantic dreams. As she pulled away to look up at him, Dylan lowered his eyebrow and looked into her teary eyes, confused and concerned by how upset she was. This feeling was only heightened as she explained she needed to tell him something. Dylan nodded slowly, following her and sitting down on the couch to hear whatever news she had to tell him.
He sat silently, just patiently listening as she began to explain things. He then frowned, not liking the use of the word ‘sick’. Nora was sick, his mum had been sick. Sick implied something more than a simple short term illness. He didn’t want Sarah to be sick too. He looked down at his feet for a few moments as Sarah emotionally confessed her feelings for him and gulped, not knowing if he had the balls to say it back. How did he know what love was? He liked Sarah, he cared about her, he enjoyed spending time with her but he really didn’t know if he loved her. Love was for other people surely, not Dylan? ”What’s the matter Sarah?” he said slowly, looking back up and into her eyes, an expression of worry spread across his face. |
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Post by sarah on Jul 21, 2011 16:51:49 GMT -5
to you, i'll give the world to you, i'll never be cold- - - - - - - - - - - - - - If only this was easy to talk about.. But sadly it wasn't. This was her life and she really wanted to live it to the max. But her illness held her back. Sadly. As he asked what was wrong, she looked down and took a deep breath. "I'm not making it past twenty, Dylan." another sob escaped her mouth and she couldn't look at him while saying it. When he tried looking in her eyes, she caught his and couldn't help but let a few tears to roll down her cheek. If only she had told him from the beginning, so that she hadn't allowed him to fall in love with her.
Sarah sighed and for a moment, she looked outside the window and heard the cry of a baby in the distance. Again, she dried her eyes. The thought of babies broke her heart. She would never be a mother and she loved kids more than anything else. After a while, she looked at Dylan and took his hand. "Say something.. Please." She asked and tried intwining their fingers. She hated this awkward silence and hoped he would soon say something. |
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Post by dylan joshua mitchell on Jul 23, 2011 12:50:00 GMT -5
I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot
I guess not... [/font][/size][/center] As Sarah eventually managed to get the words out, Dylan stared at her with an almost dazed expression, it taking a few moments for these words to sink in. Twenty. She had less than two years to live? Dylan blinked, his mouth kind of gawping open in shock, too speechless to say anything right now. The one woman in the world who had begun to change Dylan, to make him feel something for a girl other than a desire for sex and she was dying. He turned away, staring at the wall and trying to let all the thoughts which shot madly around his mind settle a little.
Dylan snapped back into the real world as Sarah gently prompted him to speak. He felt her reach for his hand but instead of linking fingers with her, he pulled it away, standing up suddenly. ”Sarah, I can’t do this” he said, a hint of panic in his voice. It was as if he was a bad omen- everything around him seemed to get ruined and everyone he cared for seemed to have lost or be losing their fight for life. He walked up to the door and stood there, staring at in and breathing deeply, his fists clenched tightly. He knew he was being a douche- that this was when Sarah needed so badly to be held and reassured by that ever calm and resilient Dylan, but there was only so much a guy could take and this was seriously pushing it.
He closed his eyes, still facing away from her. How desperately he wanted to take the door handle and get out of there. Run until he couldn’t run any further, get away from everything. Life was so fucked, so seriously fucked. His mum was dead, his dad couldn’t give a toss, his sister was battling cancer and now Sarah was dying. With one tragedy always relentlessly following another, Dylan was finding it ever more difficult to carry the weight of the world around on his shoulders whilst keeping that cheeky grin planted on his face. But he knew he couldn’t run. He couldn’t leave her to face this on his own, yet he didn’t know if he had the strength to turn around and make everything out to be okay. |
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Post by sarah on Jul 24, 2011 19:06:42 GMT -5
to you, i'll give the world to you, i'll never be cold- - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sarah knew she had been stupid for not telling him right away. But back then she hadn't trusted him enough. She had been afraid he would back away just like he did now. And Sarah knew it was hard on him, because she knew about Nora being sick and all that. Sarah closed her eyes and sighed when he walked over towards the door instead of taking her hand. Should she go over and hug him and tell him that everything would be okay? Because if she did, she wasn't only fooling herself but also him and that was the last thing she wanted right now. She wouldn't be surprised if he left her, but it would break her heart, nevertheless. Sarah had really started to fall in love with this boy...
Sarah dried her eyes and stood up herself, walking over towards him. She placed herself so she was blocking the door so he couldn't leave before they had talked about this. Sarah tried her hardest to gain some kind of eye contact with her. As she finally made it, she bit her lowerlip not knowing what to say. A deep breath was taken as she looked at him. "I'm sorry, Dylan. Sorry that I didn't tell you.. Sorry that I fell in love with you. Sorry that I hurt you.." Sarah said and fell down on the floor, crying for real now. She was incredibly sad. And hoped she would give some sort of reaction to her laying there. |
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Post by dylan joshua mitchell on Jul 26, 2011 12:38:44 GMT -5
Dylan made eye contact with her for mere seconds before averting his gaze past her. Looking at her and seeing the pain in her eyes made this all real and Dylan tried to kid himself that if he didn’t acknowledge that pain, he could pretend it didn’t exist. It would never work of course, but he was just desperate not to have to face up to this shit, again. He looked into space with a completely dazed and emotionless face as Sarah spoke, the words taking far longer than normal to actually sink in and be processed. When they had, he began to try to form his own words, wondering what on earth he could say right now. Nothing would really explain how he felt and nothing would make it better, but yet he knew this didn’t give him an excuse to stand here in silence.
”Sarah..” he began, knowing that at least beginning to speak made him look like he was taking this all in. He still had a few seconds to properly construct some sort of legitimate comment though and he used this time to full effect. ”You don’t have to be sorry” he said finally, reaching his arm behind her back and pulling her towards him for a cuddle, unsure if it was for her benefit or his. He just wanted to tell her so much that this would be okay- the standard response to somebody being upset. But he knew and she knew this was never going to be okay, it would only get worse. ”You don’t have to be sorry for anything..”. He really had nothing more profound to say at this moment and so he just held her, nestling into her hair and breathing in deep and sad sighs. |
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