Paranoid much? (Ren/Skrink)

[kayla7]

Kirsten walked through the mall clenching and unclenching her fists, hateing the crowd that was growing larger as the day got later. She had tried to get there a bit earlier to avoid such crowds but she didn’t get there early enough, so she just clenched her teeth and walked through, wishing she didn’t have to get new clothes and could just walk around naked, or maybe not. Kirsten’s weaved through the crowd, gracefully avoiding bumping into other people. She wasn’t always the most graceful person, but it was a good way to avoid making any contact with the other people. As she walked a bit longer she let herself relax, figuring walking around panicked wasn’t the best way to get her shopping done.

Kirsten was always like this in a crowd, but she willed herself to be calm, or appear so. Kirsten was tough as nails and a hard nut to crack, and her paranoia was her soft spot. As she walked she scanned the mall, her gaze jumping from face to face, taking in her surroundings. She was observant and not much got past her. A mother walked by with her baby and Kirsten smiled as the baby looked at her with wide eyes, and kept walking. Kirsten walked into a few store, every now and then she would walk out with a new pair of jeans or top, she actually really loved to shop, and her style was usually always edgy. At the moment she was wearing a navy blue tank top with a black leather jacket pulled over it, black leather gloves, dark blue skinny jeans, and black heelless boots the almost came up to her knees. Her eyes had dark liner around them and she wore a silver ring on her finger; her long blonde hair was wavy and almost reached the small of her back. Even though she was skinny she was also tall and intimidating, if you studied her for as moment. She gave off an F you air, though she was actually a very nice and kind hearted person.

She walked for a few moments and decided she didn’t need anything else, so she was going to head on out. She walked out of an exit and into the night, a breeze blowing her curls in her face. She spotted her motorcycle and was about to walk to it but she stopped at the words she overheard. Around the side of the mall there was no one except for a smallish group of teenagers, she heard them use words like ‘freak’ and ‘bitch’ and she became curious. She didn’t usually jump into the middle of other people’s business, but she absolutely hated bullies. She remembered how insecure she had felt because of them, and her body heated with anger. She was usually patient and was hard to anger, but she had spent the last hour being shoved and touched and she wasn’t in the best of moods. Kirsten walked a little closer to the group, and saw they were surrounding a girl, probably younger then Kirsten’s twenty three years. They were picking on her about an ex or something, and Kirsten stepped closer until she shoved her way through the kids in front of the girl. Kirsten turned around and scanned the other kid’s confused and shocked expressions.

Kirsten stood in front of the girl, no bothering to talk to her at the moment but by her position she suggested she was protecting her. One of the kids told her it was none of her business , and she narrowed her eyes at the girl that spoke. These kids weren’t exactly looking for a fight, and neither was Kirsten, but she appeared ready and itching for one. On the inside she was thinking of a quiet and mature ways to get them to go, but she didn’t have to think for long. They left, obviously not wanting to get in trouble and too much of cowards to try and fight. Kirsten wasn’t exactly experienced in fighting herself, was only good at appearing so and usually just talked people into calming down. She breathed slowly in deeply, calming her jump nerves and anxiety. As Kirsten turned around she had a worried expression on her face, not knowing if she had stood up for the wrong side and not caring “Are you alright Hun?” she asked the girl, wondering how the girls reaction to her standing up for her would be. Kirsten knew how unpredictable people can be, and remained in her crossed arm stance in case the girl was angry, but Kirsten’s features weren’t hostile or mad, just curious and a bit stressed. If the girl was harmless she didn’t want to scare her, so she loosened up her arms but was still watchful, waiting for any signs that would tell Kirsten to leave. She was extremely paranoid, but an upside to that was she good at watching body language for any signs of danger, because to Kirsten just about everything is dangerous.

count : 839 Outfit : Clicky here
noted : First post with this charrie XD
credited : KBIRD of caution 2.0

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[renfive]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S FIGHTING FOR OR WHY I HAVE TO SCREAM
i don't know why i instigate and say what i don't mean

[/i][/center]

Ren had woken up to a shitty day. Her mother and sister were having a screaming match in the kitchen and woke her up early. She had gone to school in a daze due to lack of sleep and gotten bitched out by three of her teachers for dozing off in class. Then she had been assigned a mountain of homework and ended up getting into an argument with her best friend. Now she was supposed to be heading home but decided she needed a release. She anxiously waited for the bell to ring and made a run for her locker where she quickly put away her books and grabbed her kitty cat purse. As soon as she could make it through the throngs of people she got into her beat up Corolla and headed for the mall, desperate to be anywhere but home.

After browsing around for a while and making a few minor makeup purchases she had decided to head into the bookstore. She was a huge reader and was constantly looking for muse for her own stories. She spied a new writer's guide filled with different prompts and smiled to herself. Maybe today wouldn't be such a total loss if she could force herself to sit down long enough to get anything out of her brain and onto her page. She was making her way to the register to buy the new book when she spotted an ex of her's snogging some girl behind a book case. She immediately felt a dangerous anger bubbling up in her chest and knew she had to do something. When he turned around and smiled at her she felt herself mentally snapping. She threw down the writing prompt book and stormed over to the otherwise happy couple. She stood with a blue nail poilished hand on her hip as she glared her eyes at him. Ren grabbed the girl and wrenched her away from Brett, her ex, and totally lost it when she saw it was an ex best friend of hers. She ranted and raved, not sure if she was making any sense, before she punched the girl in the face and tried to tackle her. Brett grabbed her arms and pinned them behind her back, making her attempts to beat the girl into a bloody pulp useless. Finally the girl and Brett left, Ren hot on their heels. She again launched herself at the girl outside, gathering a crowd of kids chanting her on. She was so out of control right now she didn't know what she'd do. She and the girl got into a huge fight, swinging blows and beating the hell out of each other until people tried to break them up.

Finally someone grabbed Ren to keep her from going after Brett and his new girlfriend, who was currently calling Ren a crazy fuck as she bolted for Brett's car. Ren was dropped on the ground after the car squealed away where she dissolved into a fit of tears. She had been so good lately, so capable of keeping control of herself. But that, that whore hugging and kissing Brett just made her snap. She dusted off her white Patrick Star shirt and her blue skinny jeans. Slipping her foot back into the blue converse she'd lost in the process. Her rubber bracelets banged together on her now sore wrists as she saw scratch marks all over her arms. Her jaw hurt where the girl had gotten a swing in at her. The kids were now calling her names and making fun of her, making her cry that much harder. She finally felt them dispersing as she sat with her knees tucked up and her hands firmly planted over her ears, trying to drown out their catcalls. She looked up to see a pretty blonde woman standing infront of her, possibly chasing the kids off. They finally left and she saw the woman turn to her, Ren letting her hands fall to her sides. She nodded slowly when the woman asked if she were okay, unsure of why someone would want to help her.

"I'll be f-f-ine, they were just pi-pick-picking on me again." Ren sniffled, smiling gratefully at the older woman who'd rescued her.

WORDS; 714
TAGGED; Caden!
OUTFIT; Here!
NOTES; Ren's in fight or flight mode!
LYRICS; Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park

[kayla7]

Kirsten frowned as she took in the girls features, she was pretty and her clothes were bright, but she had a red mark on her jaw that was already bruising. Her cheeks were tear streaked and Kirsten looked angrily back at were the kids had jumped into their cars and drove off. She took a deep breath, her anger flaring more. Kirsten had a bit of a temper, but she was good at controlling it. She turned to the girl again, and Kirsten's eyes softened at the grate full smile that she received. She returned it with a warm smile of her own and offered a gloved hand to the girl, “You’re covered in dirt and bruises. Let me clean you up” Kirsten said, noting the girl’s scrapes and the dirt that clung to her clothes and face. She didn’t know this girl at all but she immediately felt protective of her, wanting to kick the shit out of whoever beat her up so bad. She didn’t care if the girl was the one to start it, she just didn’t like seeing someone so torn. Kirsten used to get picked on and had actually been in a few fights before, always a bit to cocky. Kirsten had always tried to be careful and has always been paranoid, but by time she was fourteen her temper soured and her patience weakened, but she had great self-control. “Follow me” she said kindly, not wanting to scare her, since she had that effect on people.

Kirsten rummaged in her bag to see if she had any wipes or tissues and was thankful when she found some. She began to walk to her motorcycle which had been close to the fight and frowned, looks like someone got a good hit near her precious bike, because there were just a few drops of blood on the handles. Kirsten cursed under her breath and wiped the mess away with her gloved hand, as she swept it away she spoke “I’m Kirsten, by the way.” She patted the seat of her bike “You can sit here if you want, but I understand if you don’t.” Kirsten chuckled, she wondered if she seemed weird, offering to help a girl that was younger than her, but Kirsten would have offered to maybe anyone, she was paranoid and still was observing the girl to see if she was dangerous, but she couldn’t just turn someone down in their time of need. If someone had been offering Kirsten to sit on their bike and clean them up, she would have been so freaked and would have been gone faster than the person could blink.

As Kirsten waited for the girl to make up her mind her paranoia told her that she shouldn’t be helping a complete stranger, and she wanted to get on her bike and split. Kirsten told herself not everyone was dangerous, but not even she believed the words in her head. She feared she may panic, but shoved the thoughts of worry and panic to the back of her mind. She wouldn’t leave the girl or go on a full blown anxiety attack, but she would be watchful. She was very good at that, taking in the surroundings around her and just about every detail she could of the girl. She didn’t think it was creepy, she thought it was the best way to insure her paranoia that she could have a life without having people try and attack her.

Kirsten was calming, and was able to push her paranoia and anxiety down until it was only the ghost of a feeling. She had to keep from smiling to herself, satisfied she was able to push her fears down. Kirsten always battled these demons, day in and day out. She so rarely ever got them to go away, even temporarily, but was glad she did this time. The momma bear part of her wanted to help out this girl, she reminded her of herself when she was in high school. The bright clothes, the bullies, ya high school had been hell, not just because of the arrogant, ignorant students but that’s when her paranoia had really started to bloom. She would hate having to walk through the halls, always being shoved. On the bright side, she had friends who accepted her uniqueness and anxiety, and even helped her through those long school days. Kirsten hadn’t gone to college because she knew it would be similar to her high school days, but she was making a good living as a waitress at Sparkles, and she even got to sing their every now and then. She loved to sing, was fairly good at it, it was the only thing that relaxed her, even if it only did just a little, nothing ever calmed her.

Words:: 792 Tags:: Ren!!!!! Note:: Jennie locked me up in a cupboard

[renfive]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S FIGHTING FOR OR WHY I HAVE TO SCREAM
i don't know why i instigate and say what i don't mean

[/i][/center]

As the woman looked her over Ren couldn't help but feel unnerved by her kindness. It wasn't often strangers came running to her aid, especially girls who looked like this one. Though against her better judgement Ren felt herself standing and following the woman across the parking lot. She also noted how badly mangled she looked right now, and knew she'd ruined over $100 oufit in her breakdown. But it was well worth clocking that homewrecking bitch whom she used to call a friend. Alas, Ren knew she'd still mentally beat herself up for her actions for weeks to come. She was so tough on herself somtimes it was like living with a psychotic gossip columnist inside her head. Always ready to pull up the deep, darkness of her past to slap her across the face with.

As she was handed the wipes she began to try to get the majority of the tried blood and dirt from her face. The cool, dampness of the wipe felt amazing against her scraped and burning skin. She looked up as the girl introduced herself and said she could sit on the back of her bike. This is when 'stranger danger' began flashing in her head. What was Kirsten's angle here? Was she some pedobear who just happened to like to prey on younger girls? Was she a vicious, murder who wanted to chop her up and serve her in a stew? Ren silently shook her head, instead lowering herself to the curb. She crossed her legs at the ankles, a habit she'd had since childhood and picked some of the globs of dead leaves from her long, black hair. She blushed when she realized she'd been so caught up in everything she never gave a name back.

"I'm Reneenaiya but everyone calls me Ren. It's nice to meet you Kirsten, though not nessecarily under these circumstances." She hoped she wasn't rambling off in advanced literary words, another thing she got made fun of about.

She winced as she moved, her ankle pretty sore. As she leaned down for her purse she tried her best to bite back a yelp of pain but failed miserably. She probably had a couple of fractured ribs from where the one girl had sidelined her into one of the huge light poles. She winced again in pain as she moved before sighing softly and digging in her purse for a bottle of tylenol and a minature bottle of water, like the kind kids had in their lunchboxes. She quickly took the tylenol and guzzled a few sips of water in a matter of a blink, having done so for so many years. She gave another appreciative smile in the older woman's direction.

"Thank you so much for what you did back there. It's not often someone stands up for someone like me" The last word came out like having a bitter taste in your mouth.

Ren absently played with the now ripped up knee in her skinny jeans. She felt so very lost, confused, inadeaquet. Oh cue the music, she was self-loathing already. She bit her lip and stared at the ground, silently willing herself not to start bawling. She was hot, in pain, and looked a mess. And it was all because of her stupid, overly-dramatic temper. If she wasn't such a screw up, maybe things would be different! But no she could never control her emotions, not since she was a child and the incident happened. After that things were never the same for her, Ren changed completely. She became a whole new, unstable, erratic person. One that had lost almost all her friends, made mistakes in everything she did, ruined every relationship she tried to have. She was useless, chaotic, and a burden. But she would 'keep on keepin on' because Koss kids were never quitters. No matter what it takes, I won't quit

WORDS; 665
TAGGED; Caden!
OUTFIT; Here!
NOTES; Ren's in fight or flight mode!
LYRICS; Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park

[kayla7]

Kirsten watched as the girl picked the curb instead, Kirsten wouldn’t have even sat; she would have been gone and away. “Im not going to hurt you, though I doubt you would believe that, even though it’s the truth” Kirsten said with a playful roll of her eyes and a soft chuckle, she didn’t trust the girl enough to try anything to stupid. Sure she had offered the girl a seat, but if Kirsten tried anything, how was she supposed to know how she would respond? Whenever someone tried to make a move on her she snapped and usually ended up getting the person to leave. Though she was good at containing her feelings, Kirsten let the anger shine through in certain situations, sometimes kindness and being mature just didn’t work. Also it helped with her ‘f you’ attitude. Kirsten didn’t like to be mean and almost always felt bad after she snapped at someone who accidently bumped into her, but if she could just put on a tougher then nails cover, then no one would want to mess with her. Or most people anyways.

Kirsten pulled out a cigarette, covering the flame of her lighter so the flame didn’t blow it out or into her hair. She took a drag from it, feeling a little calmer. She shouldn’t have ever started smoking, whenever she didn’t have a cigarette after sometime her already horrible anxiousness escaladed about five notches. Honestly, she shouldn’t have started to do most of the things she does to try and help her paranoia as well as her anxiousness, she was involved in drugs, but she honestly felt like that was the least of her problems. Her biggest problem was that she could barely eat, sleep, or talk to others without her paranoia bitching at her. Kirsten would come home some nights and have to check around her house, in case someone snuck in while she was working. She had about five locks on her door and could never sit down for a long period of time. When she was using drugs, it wasn’t so much a problem. Kirsten made sure the smoke didn’t blow into the younger girls face; the winds didn’t throw it in her direction, thankfully. She leaned against her bike with her arms crossed and he foot propped on the side of it. Her long, wavy hair was picked up by the wind and blew around her torso. “That’s a interesting name, Ren.” Kirsten shrugged “Don’t worry, I used to get gained up on myself. Its sucks, but it happens” She took a final drag of her cigarette before crushing it on the ground under her black boot.

Kirsten shoved her hands on her jacket pockets and listened to the sounds of cars and people walking out of the mall, gossiping and giggling. She casually looked around the parking lot, seeing a bunch of cars not too far away and a few mall employees smoking by an exit. She hated parking lots and alleys, especially at night. She looked at Ren curiously at her next statement and smiled kindly “No problem, pruncI apologize if im giving off an odd, first impression. ” She was aware that her kindness went odd with the way she carried herself and dressed, not to mention Kirsten was pretty sure she freaked Ren out at some point. She couldn’t help but think of her high school days, and had to help out. Kirsten put on this tough girl façade, and was actually pretty tough, but even she would spare some of her time to help someone else out, after she saw they weren’t out for her head. Ren had been gained up on and not in the best position; that was enough for her to believe she would be safe enough to talk to. Kirsten rubbed the back of her neck and asked “Are you going to be able to go home alright, or should I call a someone to come get you....” she wasn’t sure if the girl came alone with someone or in her own car, and was pretty sure it would be hell for the young girl to walk all the way home.

Kirsten sat on the seat of her bike, turning her torso towards Rens direction and looking through her bag for another cigarette. As she took one out she heard as the sound of confused footsteps came from not too far away from her. She shifted her eyes a little so she could see who it was without actually turning around. She recognized the person hiding out near the side of the mall, trying to look at Kirsten and Ren without being seen, as one of the people that had been harassing Ren. Kirsten let a stream of cuss words float through her head, but ignored the bullies. Would they ever leave the girl alone? She didn’t want Ren to see and get more upset, Kirsten believed she was just now calming down..............

Prunc: Babe in Romanian

Words:845 Taggs:Ren!!! Note:Suddenly......Kirsten muse XD