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Post by mollie on Aug 30, 2011 16:07:19 GMT -5
pixie really didn't notice how sick she looked. to her it just looked normal, but to everyone else it looked like she was dying. she was slowly killing herself by not eating... again. she had been a buliemic last year and got hospitalized for it and now she was an anorexic. she couldn't stand eating and her aunt and uncle didn't notice her not eating; she hid the food from dinner in her pockets or moved it around her plate or bought food with the money they gave her for food and didn't eat it. pixie thought of herself as fat; she was only 105 lbs. she should be at least 110, she's ten lbs under weight. pixie hoped that hayden didn't notice her not eating. she wanted to tell him that she wasn't eating but she was scared that he would leave her when it got bad, she also wanted to tell him about his father abusing. she was also scared that he would leave her. pixie was always scared that hayden was going to leave her, because there were so many other girls that he could have and he picks her, a messed up girl with an eating disorder and a messed up family.
just getting out of work, pixie was on her lunch break. it wasn't really a "lunch" break, more of a water break or a break where she watches people and wonders how many are like her, with an eating disorder. pixie bought a bagel with cream cheese and a water. her aunt and uncle had to think that she was eating. they gave her money for food every month. she didn't live with them, she lived in a dorm, but they visited often and could tell when she didn't spend the money for food. pixie threw away the bagel and kept the water. she drinks water and sometimes coffee. although it makes her feel bloated to drink coffee, she still drink it for the taste and sometimes it doesn't make her feel bloated based on her confidence for the day.
she picked a table from one of the many tables in the food court and sat down. this would be near the time when hayden and pixie would be having lunch together. but she never ate, never, not even once. she'll have water and coffee and sometimes smoothies/juice but thats about it. she hoped that he wasn't noticing that she wasn't eating or that she was lying to him about eating before he got break. she was also not telling him about his dad hitting her when he wasn't around and when they saw each other in public. she always covered it up with a lot of makeup or clothes. if he gave her a bruise on her arm then she would wear a shirt that covered it, like today.
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notes. maybe he knows about his dad abusing her? maybe he saw it happen and didn't say anything?
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