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Post by navy on Aug 25, 2011 1:39:44 GMT -5
some days, navy thought he would go crazy. nothing he could do would make the voices in his head shut up, not even the alcohol. he was certain there was something wrong with him. some days he was certain he had a personality disorder, other days, navy was sure he was just crazy. he had to be crazy. why else would he hurt the one person in his life who he actually cared about, who he actually loved? because he had to. because if he didn't, his mind would get angry at him. it was like navy was two different people. part of him wanted to hug, and cuddle, and love the shit out of dakota, but there was another side of navy who just.. wanted to watch him suffer. navy wasn't always like this. he could remember when he was just your average kid, but then suddenly things changed and navy became this.. thing he was today.
it had been two and a half years since he walked into dakota's life and some days, he wished he hadn't. not because dakota wasn't what he wanted, but because he was not what dakota needed. on the days where navy felt himself, he spent most of his time hating himself for what he did to dakota. navy had been trying lately. he was trying to cage the beast that lived inside of him, the beast that loved to tear his beautiful boy apart. he hated watching dakota hurt. he wondered all too often when dakota would leave him, when he'd snap out of it and realise that he would be better off without navy. navy hoped that never happened, both sides of navy did. he knew he needed to do something for dakota, something to prove to him how much he cared about him, before the beast forced his way out and dakota got the shitty end of the stick. again.
that was why navy was slaving over the stove, making an elaborate meal for the two of them. he knew dakota didn't exactly eat regularly, not unless navy made him food, so he planned on stuffing dakota full of delicious food tonight. lighting the two candles sitting on the dining room table, navy took the pasta off the stove, and made up two plate fulls. he finished setting the table and opened a bottle of wine, pouring them two glasses. dakota! navy called out, looking down the hall to where dakota had retreated down some hours ago. baby, i've got dinner, he said, shoving his hand into his pocket and fingering the box that was settled into it. tonight he was going to prove to dakota he was trying. not just for dakota and not just for their relationship, but for himself, too.
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Post by kotaa on Aug 25, 2011 4:05:40 GMT -5
 two and a half years ago, dakota's life changed. sometimes he wondered if it was for the better or for the worse. ever since navy came walking into his life, dakota hasn't been the same. he used to be strong enough to handle himself, strong enough to stand on his own two feet, and strong enough to tell someone off when they got in his face. after, navy, though.. dakota broke. he wasn't the confident kid he once was. instead, he was just a shell of the person he used to be. constantly looking over his shoulder and waiting for the next time that navy blew up. he knew that the way he was living his life wasn't exactly living. all he was doing was walking around eggshells and hoping that navy's good days would last a little bit longer than usual. every time navy lost it, dakota ended up with a few more bruises and cuts and that put dakota behind when it came to work. can't put on a pretty face when it hurts to smile.
still, there were the days that dakota wouldn't change it for the world. the small, cute things that navy does was always worth the pain and suffering. his sweet little apologies always make things better. there were so many things that outweighed the bad that dakota just couldn't bring himself to leave. even if he wanted to, he knew he couldn't. navy was controlling when he wanted to be and if dakota tried to leave him, navy would probably just hold him back and make him stay. dakota knew that and it scared him a little bit. he didn't know what to do if it came to the point where he had to leave.. honestly, though, he didn't think that point would come. navy had been trying to get better and that counted for so many points in dakota's book. he was attempting to stop with the beatings and for the most part, he did well. often just telling dakota to get the fuck out of the way. sometimes, though.. well.. sometimes it didn't end so well.
standing in front of the dresser, dakota applied the last of his makeup, barely pulling the mascara wand away from his eye when he heard navy call his name. jumping slightly, his breath caught in his throat as the wand fell to the dark wood of the dresser. dropping his head, he gripped the edges of the dresser and stared at his feet. sighing heavily, he tried to calm himself. looking back up into the mirror, he gave himself a fake smile that he tried to make himself believe was real. he desperately needed to make himself feel collected before he walked out of that door and faced navy. clearing his throat, dakota bit down on his lip and took another steady before before cleaning up his mess and heading for the door. pulling it open, he looked around the corner before slowly walking out of the room and towards the dining room. spotting the display in front of him, dakota smiled a true smile and turned to look at his boyfriend. it's beautiful, darling. he said taking a few small steps closer and leaning up to kiss navy softly. i love it, he whispered. -------------------------- outfit |
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