Screw up (Rayne/Madness)

[patrick anthony reid]

One, two, three, Patrick glanced at the pills in his hand nibbling on his lip his hands already shaking, once you start you can never find the will to stop he once heard. Yeah, that’s just what drugs seemed to do to you, it only took one time to get you addicted and that’s just what Patrick was, addicted and only getting worse by the day. Popping the pills into his mouth his mouth he swallowed them down with alcohol taking a shaky breath, he knew his life was going to hell and he didn’t care. When people asked him he was going to get himself killed, he just said he was going to die someday anyway and it was that kind of speaking alone that worried people. It was four years ago when he first got into drugs, four years ago he was fourteen years old and naïve. He just always thought he would be able to quit whenever he wanted, he never wanted to admit he was addicted and he hid his addiction. He hid it from his friends and his family, sure people suspected what was going on but no one really know just how deep the hole he dug his self into was. Patrick messed up his life, and as he took one last breath popping more pills into his mouth his breathing slowed and his head hit his floor the bottle falling from his hand. Patrick overdosed, “H-Hello. Yes hello, my son. H-he, I think he just overdosed on god I don’t even know, but please you got to help him” and that was the 911 one call his mother made after finding her son unconscious on his bed room floor.

She had no clue her only son was a drug addict, that was the 911 call made nearly twenty four ago before he found his self in an ambulance being rushed to the hospital. If they were any slower, Patrick would have been dead. He was lucky, once at the hospital he was hooked up to an IV, and a breathing mask was kept on his face to try and correct his shallow staggered breathing. Squinting his eyes he awoke to the sound of doctor’s talking and his mother crying by his bed side blaming herself for her son being how he is, he swallowed his mouth raw and dry a pain in his chest and side. “Oh good you’re awake” he heard a nurse say as his mother looked up at him a look of relief on her face, “you’re very lucky Patrick. If you mother wasn’t home, you would be dead right now” she said before she checked his vitals deciding that now was a good time to take the breathing mask off. “W-What happened?” Patrick mumbled surprised by how his voice sounded, so weak and different. “You had a drug overdose; you’ve been out for well over twenty four hours” she frowned, “thought you were a goner but we were able to correct your vital signs and you should be fine” Patrick blinked. “So I could have died?” he was surprised as the nurse just nodded, “wow” he mumbled closing his eyes again still groggy. “C-could you call my friend Rayne” he coughed falling back into his once unconscious state.

[rayne micheal buchanan]

Rayne was overly-hyper lately, maybe it was due to all his chortling with Patrick over the online chat source. He was also celebrating his two years sober next week, and that was enough to make any man giddy with excitement. He was astonished within himself, for he two years ago he had never imagined he would be this sober and this happy. Rayne was so happy he joined the theater, it was the move that earned him great friends, and it cleaned him up. It was amazing, the happiest day of his life had been the day he walked in there.

Today Rayne was just going to take a day off, hang around the house. He took off his jeans, and walked around his house in his Mickey Mouse boxers instead. He also had a beer, just because it seemed relaxing. Alcohol had never been the problem with him just the drugs. Drinking he still did in moderation, a nice cold beer when he felt he deserved it. He sat on his couch, chilling and watching random T.V shows. He started with Cops, but moved on after he realized he had seen it before.

Rayne was almost half asleep when his cell phone went off. It chimed in unknown number and he ran to catch it. ”Hello? Is this Rayne Buchanan ?” Said a soft voice on the other line, a female voice. He began to worry slightly, but he said yes and asked what was wrong. ”We have a Patrick Reid up here..In the hospital. He asked to see you, and we thought it best to call you. He overdosed, about twenty four hours ago. He is okay now, and you can come see him.” His heart was beating right out of his chest, he said okay and hung up the phone. He ran to put on a plain white t-shirt and his sandals.

He grabbed his keys and got out to his car quickly, and took a deep breath before preparing to drive off. Rayne went to check his pockets for everything he needed, and then he realized he wasn’t wearing pants! He jumped back out to grab a pair of jeans, laughing at his idiocy. He made it inside and grabbed a pair of jeans from his hamper, they didn’t smell amazing but it was better than no pants. He also grabbed his phone of the charger as he walked back out this time.

By time he got there he was jittery with nerves. The thought of losing Patrick was very unsettling, and it also pissed him off. Damn if that child wasn’t thick in the head! He was pretty tense as he walked into the hospital, configuring where his friend was. The lady told him just up the hall on the left.....He walked quickly popping his knuckles on the way in. He found the door and took a deep calming breath before going on in. He had passed Patricks mother in the waiting room, but he hadn’t said anything to her in fear of his tongue slipping.

He pulled open the door and stomped in. ”Patrick!” He said. ”What happened, what did you do? Why’d you do it? Patrick?” He said unfurling his thoughts. Some of his anger came out too, and revealed how sad he was. He didn’t want to lose one of his best friends, not this way. He plopped down in the chair closest to the bed. ”Patriiiiick!” He said, half groaning his name in the middle. Elongating his name, practically. This was something that had almost happened before, to his own self. He knew the terror his family just had to be in right now, and it simply chilled him to the bone.

[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]

[patrick anthony reid]

Patrick was known to make a lot of stupid mistakes in his life, growing up without really his father in his life since his parent’s messy divorce he depended a lot on the people he did have in his life and really sorta took after them. Maybe that was why he was so alike Rayne in the way he presented his self, he drank never that heavily but he did drink and he tended to get tipsy and sometimes even pass out drunk or throw up. That was normal for an eighteen year old who drank; he also knew that Rayne use to be on drugs and he was sober now. Sometimes he really wished that he had the control that Rayne had but he knew he didn’t, no Patrick just felt so weak sometimes and stupid as well and there was nothing he could do to change that feeling about his self. He really messed up his life, hell he did that a long time ago and he really did lose all hope. He just thought if he died then so be it now, he was going to die someday anyways and he knew that thinking would really piss his friends off. He never meant to do the things he did, he couldn’t help it anymore. It was almost as if he was no longer in control of his own body, his own movements and the person in control just kept feeding him more drugs.

To the point where it became too much for his body to handle and he slipping into unconsciousness and stayed that way for a whole twenty four hours, yeah it was clear to say that Patrick was in pretty bad shape now. At least the breathing mask was off now and he could breathe on his own, but listening to the beeping of the heart meter he knew he would be here for awhile and after this lord knows where he’d be. Hearing footsteps outside he guessed it to either be a nurse or his mother and just kept his eyes clothes in till he heard Rayne’s voice, it sounded angry but he could tell he was also upset. Patrick was still one of his best friends and here he was in the hospital, he could have easily just died and no one wanted that. “R-Rayne, c-calm do-down” Patrick coughed his thought still so dry as he sat up looking at his friend. “I as you probably know, I had a drug overdose. It was a mixture of a bunch of pills and other crap and I just I passed out and this time well I didn’t wake up” Patrick said quietly, swallowing hard. “My dad has the decency to call and tell my mother I’m a disgrace and no son to him too. Just to make things worse” he closed his eyes and gasped, it was still a little hard to breath. “Wow this just freaking sucks” he groaned a little bit, he really did not enjoy the way he was feeling right now. “My mom is really upset though, she was uh crying the entire time” he bit his lip slightly. He really did feel awful for that too, “and you know what. I wouldn’t have cared if I died” Patrick said it seriously, it was the truth. He wouldn’t care if he died anymore, sure he’d be missed but they would move on right. Death was just really nothing to him anymore, it was just really death and if he died he died.

[rayne micheal buchanan]

Rayne was not a saint, he had made poor decisions just as bad, if not worse than Patrick. He couldn’t even remember his senior year of high school, except for his spring break trip to Miami. His withered past was something he wanted to forgot, but couldn’t and it killed him. He had made that decision to accept drugs, but then he reminded himself he had also taken the action to clean himself up. The same tune was not to be sung for his friend Patrick, apparently. Something down deep inside tugged at his heart, telling him he had let this happen. That he hadn’t taken enough action to stop it, that maybe he shouldn’t have told his tales from when he was addicted. He started thinking of off the wall reasons to blame himself, just another reaction he had to one of his best friends almost leaving earth.

He couldn’t but be angry; he was really just hiding his sadness. He couldn’t cry he knew he couldn’t. It was easier to let his emotions come out with anger than sadness. It was a foolish type of thing, but it was just part of his personality. He looked at Patrick, seething in is chair but also scared to the bone. ” That man has no right to say anything, something must have crawled up his ass recently. “ He grunted. The tale of Patrick’s father calling in pissed Rayne of even more. What the hell was wrong with some people? Patrick was blessed with a father and mother who didn’t care as long as he was healthy and safe. So far he seemed to be the only one out of all his friends. Then again, if he found out his son was ever using drugs he would be rightfully angry as well; Patricks father was not even that close to him though.

Though he had his pissed façade up, he still jumped up when Patrick gasped, thinking he was going to relapse or something. He calmly sat back down after nothing huge happened, frowning slightly at the next comment to come. ”Don’t say that Patrick, you’ve to many people that care about you to say such a thing. Would you still be saying such a thing, lets ponder, if you didn’t have so much God damned drugs in your system so much?” Rayne was obviously angry now, though he didn’t feel as much of the fury as he put into his words. ”Listen Patrick, I love you; in every way but the gay way that is. If you were to die, I don’t know what I would do. All of our friends would have the same reaction. We all care so much for each other, it’s not even funny. We are like family man, you can’t just lost family. “ He ended his speech in an almost pleading tone.
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[/SIZE][/JUSTIFY]

[patrick anthony reid]

Patrick was clearly not a saint nor was he a good student in school, in fact he tended to be a horrible with his falling grades and his many detentions so it was to the point that he was despised by his teachers and it was just horrible. He use to be a lot better student then he was now, and he was a senior. It was actually a surprise to a lot of people that he even made it that far, most people thought he was going to be another high school dropout ages ago and was going to work hard to actually graduate high school. He had a feeling that Rayne was going to find a way to blame his self for what happened too, since he use to be a drug addict and now seeing Patrick here in the hospital after a drug overdose it was like seeing what could have happened. No one could have really prevented the over dose from happening, since Patrick was so into the drugs it was bound to have happened any other time anyways.

He groaned again taking a shaky breath rubbing his head, “I feel dead anyways and Rayne I know he doesn’t but he’s still my father and my mom still picked up and she told me just what he said” he sighed a little bit to his self. Patrick and his father were never close to begin with, they were always arguing and it only made Patrick’s stress worse. The very thought of his father made his heart race, he really did piss him off and closes his eyes he sighed. He really had to calm down before he really messed his health up again, to the point his breathing would be all staggered and slow again. He coughed and took another slight breath, “my mother is really unhappy right now” he bit his lip slightly. He really did feel awful for upsetting his mom in the way he did, and he knew he always would be unhappy.

“I know so many people care about me Rayne, what you think I don’t know that my friends would have been devastated if I died. No of course I know, but I honestly wouldn’t have cared if I died because I’m going to die someday anyways. I’m eighteen years old and there’s not going on in my life, I’m just a screw up. You’re clean and I couldn’t be happier for you, and well then there is me. I’m not you, I just don’t have the will to really change my life even though I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be forced into rehab after this overdose I just had. I could have easily died, and Rayne I really am sorry for scaring you if I did. You’re like, you’re my brother pretty much. I even sneak into your house all the time just to bug you, I really would be dead if you weren’t around being my friend. So yeah thanks for putting up with me for this long so far, and just I know you’re hiding your sadness with anger” he mumbled tired, groggy, and hoarse.