Promises; {Franchessca/Tabby}

[nivek alestaire diesira]

PROMISES, PROMISES
a n d t h e y s t i l l
feel so wasted on myself

Nivek wasn't quite sure what was going on. He was confused to say the least. He had been chatting with Adele and Enver in the ICC when his cellphone had rung. He recognized the hospital's phone number from the last time Enver came up with a bright idea drunk that got him hurt. He had answered and been informed by a medic that he was listed as Franchessca's next of kin and they had this number on file. He'd been told it was either a suicide attempt or an accidental overdose, but that she was being rushed to the hospital. And they would need him to come. He had been utterly confused and actually shocked considering he didn't particularly like Franchessca. The girl was a firecracker who ran off at the mouth and constantly angered him. He had gotten into calling her a slut from Adele, really. Since he didn't even know Franchessca personally. Though, he always felt bad after he called her names. He couldn't help it. Despite his attitude change since he began dating the blonde vixen he still held that urge to help and protect ingrained in him.

Reluctantly he'd gotten up from his warm bed and thrown on his black zip-off pants, a grey, longsleeve shirt, and his supras. He'd driven over to the hospital and headed inside. Though he wasn't sure why he'd even shown up. He could have easily told the ER staff to call someone else, her parents or whatever. Wait, did she have real parents? Maybe she had a bad home life. Maybe she'd even lived in some of the same levels of hell he had. He realized he really, truly knew nothing about the blonde cosplayer. He sighed and scratched the shaved spot on the left side of his head, biting his lip. There had to have been a reason she asked for him of all people. Maybe...maybe she thought he could understand. His hand absently rubbed the faded, slightly raised scar on his right wrist where he'd tried to kill himself when he was thirteen. Before he realized his destiny was to care for others. Silently he headed for the information desk.

"Hi, m-my name's Nivek Diesira. I recieved a phone call that my-- friend Franchessca Hoffman was just admitted for some sort of overdose. Is she okay?" Nivek was starting to feel an honest worry for the girl as he spoke.

"Let me see. Franchessca Hoffman. Third floor, room 308. You can go on up, they got her stablized." The heavyset receptionist nodded.

Nivek mumbled his thanks before he turned and made his way towards the elevators. He hated hospitals. He really, really hated them. There was always this smell of sickness that even the extra-strong chemicals they used to clean didn't really mask. And they reminded him of when his dad beat him up so badly one time that he had to get four stitches in his head. Of course, his father had managed to blame the whole incident on Wicca. Then there was his Aunt Cammy. Poor woman had cancer and died. He remembered visiting her often enough and seeing death in her eyes. He shook off the memories haunting him and pressed the button for the elevator. He hoped Franchessca was alright. He knew he needed to apologize for his behavior. And he needed to really know her before making judgements.

He took the elevator to the third floor and stopped in at a gift shop, buying her a boquet of daisies. He wasn't entirely sure why he did it...but it was a peace offering nonetheles. Room 308 stood infront of him, beeping machines inside beckoning him. The door was barely cracked open and there seemed to be no sound echoing out of it. Nivek took a deep breath and knocked on the door before pushing it open. He saw Franchessca's body on the hospital bed, a blanket over her, and machines hooked up to her. He walked over to her bed and smiled down at her, laying the daisies gently on her stomach. As he looked at her so innocent and vulnerable on a hospital bed something seized him. He took her hand and sat down next to her.

"Franchessca, I- I'm really sorry about how I've been treating you. It wasn't right of me to judge you without knowing you. I hope you can forgive me?" He whispered, his eyes suddenly full of tears.

WORDS; 753
TAGGED; Franchessca/Tabbycat
NOTES; Nivek feels awful!
OUTFIT; HERE!
LYRICS; Promises - Nero
TEMPLATE BY; Me/Ren

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[franchessca natalie hoffman]

Franchessca couldn’t take it anymore. Her life was in shambles. Her body was beaten, bruised and stitched up from Edwin’s latest attack on her. Her best friend was homeless and shacked up with some doctor that she hardly knew and wouldn’t accept her help for anything. It made her feel as if she was useless even to those who knew her best. But the worst thing yet was that every day she’d get on the Lipton chat site in hopes of making her life a little brighter with friends and promoting the upcoming anime convention, but every time she went on lately, there were people badgering her about her sex life calling her a slut and a whore. She felt as if an outcast, which was why she got into cosplay to begin with. Tonight had been the worst, a girl blatantly told her to go kill herself, that no one would miss her. So she sat at the dinner table, with three bottles of pills and a bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey. The Queen of Cosplay formed a pattern: Three pills, swig of whiskey, check the chat, three pills, swig of whiskey, check the chat. After about thirty minutes, her body went week and she passed out.

The young woman’s fall had alerted the tenant she had living in her basement for rent. He immediately called 911 at the sight of her. She was in and out of consciousness as the EMTs pulled up. They asked her who her next of kin was and she could form no answer. Again and again they asked her. And all she could think of was the chat. She formed the name of the one person who had always been there to ridicule her. Nivek. With the name given they laid her back on the stretcher. Within a few moments, her consciousness faded again. There was no hope of waking her this time, though the EMTs did try.

A few hours later, in room 308, she laid half asleep. Her body had been pumped and purified of most of the alcohol and pills her system. She had several psychiatrists come talk to her about her state and they had decided to start her on Zoloft as soon as possible. “Great,” she thought. “Another pill to OD on.” Franchessca had no intention of staying alive, though she’d make face and pretend she did crave life… that it was just a horrible mistake that she’d never do again. Finally, the doctor’s left her some peace and she could enjoy the last remnants of the high that could have taken her life.

Silently, she lay in bed with her eyes closed pretending she was as dead as she hoped she would be. Franchessca heard footsteps approaching her. Assuming it was another doctor, she remained still, hoping they’d get the point and leave. All the same, they approached. She felt something on her stomach and she opened her eyes weakly to see daisies. She gasped, looking up at the person. It was Nivek. The girl had forgotten all about giving his name to the emergency responders. She honestly couldn’t remember it. She had been so far gone at the time that she would have said anything to get them to stop talking to her. But there he stood… she got ready to snip at him and ask him what he wanted when he spoke.

Nivek took her hand and began to pour his heart out to her in a sincere apology. Franchessca’s still hollow eyes looked down at their hand and simply took it into her own. She still had no intention of living, but she could at least die with one less enemy.

[nivek alestaire diesira]

YOU CANNOT DREAM YOURSELF TO NOTICE
to feel p a i n and swallow f e a r
But can you stay up for the weekend?

Nivek wasn't sure what he had expected when he walked into that hospital room. He was half expecting to see something likened to his aunt, he imagined. Though this was a suicide attempt, not cancer. His fears were laid to rest when the door squeaked open and he saw only an IV and a heart monitor attached to Franchessca he released a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. She looked pale and like she'd been feverish, a sign of having your stomach pumped. He remembered that, too. From one weekend with Princess when he'd managed to OD on Ativan, Ecstasy, and Cocaine. He sighed softly to himself as he walked across the room. He was tenative in his steps, not sure if he even really wanted to do this or not. Actually he knew he didn't want to do this, but he had no choice. Why had she said his name? Was it because he tried to get Princess to stop? Or because he had been her primary bully? He was so...disgusted with himself for being so cruel. He remembered in school kids used to be so mean to him because he was emotional, feminine, and dressed a certain way. What made him any better than those bullies? He wasn't. He realized that now.

When he laid the daisies on her stomach she didn't stir for a moment. Panickedly he wondered if she was dead. But when he held her hand she opened her eyes. Oh...shit. There was a hollow deadness staring back at him. As if the girl's will to live was gone and she was a mere shell. He had caused this, hadn't he? He did his best to feign a smile for Franchessca while mentally beating himself up. He couldn't have her death on his hands, on his mind, knowing he caused it. No, he had to prove to her life was worth living. He didn't know how...but he'd figure it out. He couldn't let her continue to have that haunting look in her eyes. The more he looked at her the more he realized she seemed like a very pretty girl. He smiled at her and sat down, still holding her hand.

When she didn't speak when he apologized his shoulders shuddered in a sigh. What was he going to do now? He couldn't think of what to say to her to make her smile. He tried to think of a witty comment or something cute to make her smile. But his mind was blank and there was a loud rushing noise in his ears. He felt slightly woozy, as though he'd spun around a few too many times in a desk chair. He stroked her bangs away from her forehead and felt a look of compassion come across his face.

"I understand if you don't forgive me, France. All we need to worry about is getting you better. I promise I will be here whenever you need me. All you have to do is call me. I'll drop whatever I am doing and I can come see you and we'll do something to get your mind off of being sad, okay? I promise I won't abandon you." Nivek said softly, his tone full of caring and concern.

Nivek continued to stroke her hair with one hand and hold her hand with his other. That look in her eyes would haunt his dreams. But Nivek never broke a promise. He would do whatever to took to see her happy again. Because this was partly his fault. And he didn't want to have anyone depressed over his stupidity. He smiled warmly at her again and laced his fingers through hers.

"S-so, when you get out of here is there anything special you'd like to do? I know Kawaii Con is coming up. I have a feeling you'll be a lot more popular than me! You know, pretty blondes are always more popular to geeks than pasty, girly dudes." He laughed softly.

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WORDS; 682
TAGGED; Franchessca/Tabbycat
NOTES; Nivek feels awful!
OUTFIT; HERE!
LYRICS; I Am Not Alone - Calvin Harris
TEMPLATE BY; Me/Ren

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[franchessca natalie hoffman]

Franchessca didn’t know what to think of Nivek at this time. She’d forgive him. She’d always forgive but that didn’t mean that his words had left her mind. She glanced emptily at his hand, rubbing it tenderly. She didn’t’ think there was much to say. All she could think about was everything that had happened between the two of them. How much he hated her. She didn’t even understand why. He said it was because she ran her mouth, but if the tables were turned and someone had cheated on his friend, he would have gone just as nuts on them as she was… but no one cared. Princess was right. No one cared about her. She felt like a big waste of space. What was she there for? To be a ticket seller for a convention? A pretty girl… other than that her life was pointless. It made her feel like a cheap tramp. And Nivek was right… she was a slut… not for sleeping around but the way she paraded herself around. Franchessca hated herself.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she whispered, hoarsely. Her voice wavered weakly as her dead eyes glanced out the window just beyond Nivek’s head. “I’m a worthless slut. I deserve to die.” Without another word she looked back down to their hands and mulled over what he what he was saying. She didn’t want happiness. She wanted this to be over with. No one cared. Franchessca realized that she was just there for entertainment… for boys to look at and realize that they could never have her. So they’d spend money to take a picture with her. And she’d oblige. France really didn’t think much of herself for it. “Nivek, all I can think about is how pathetic I am. I shouldn’t be here. I’m wasting everyone’s time and resources.”

Franchessca adjusted in the bed some. His touch was nice. It reminded her of her dad when he was still around. How sweet he’d tuck her in at night. Then, he’d get drunk and stumble into her room and do terrible things to her. He’d whisper in her ear how mommy didn’t want her to begin with and so she had to love daddy or he’d leave to. With that firmly implanted in her mind, she shuddered. Her dad had left a scar on her so deep that it shaped who she was today. No surgery could remove it. It was deep in her mind. He made her hate herself. But she learned not to talk about it quick if she wanted to keep her dad. He had threatened to leave her every few weeks even when she was in her formative years.

Nivek laced his fingers with hers and continued to try to cheer her up. What did she want to do? She assumed die wasn’t on the list of options. He mentioned Kawaii Con and all she could think of was how much of a slut she was. “Sluts are always popular, huh?”

[nivek alestaire diesira]

YOU CANNOT DREAM YOURSELF TO NOTICE
to feel p a i n and swallow f e a r
But can you stay up for the weekend?

Nivek waited for her to speak. Using his thumb to gently rub the top of her hand. He had genuine remorse in his brown eyes as he bit his lip and looked down. He didn't want her to be sad anymore. He was so sick of sadness. Adele had been sad and broke his favorite glass mouse. Enver got sad when he got really, really drunk. Loren was sad because he lived in a bad home. Arwen was sad for multiple reasons. Nivek was sad for a lot of different reasons. Now Franchessca was so sad she wanted to kill herself. Was it the universe's way of getting back at him for cheating with his friend's girlfriend? He sighed softly to himself before looking back up to meet Franchessca's eyes.

When she spoke he knew his face had contorted to something likened to horror. His cheeks and ears flushed red with embarrassment as he struggled not to cry. She wasn't a slut! He was just going along with what others were saying!And he didn't really think she was a slut. He didn't even know her. He had become a person he hated the last few months as stress took over his common sense. He looked down at the bed and stared as if he could melt into the ground. He didn't want to feel responsible, even if he was, he didn't want to feel anything anymore. As he listened to her words he felt absolutely dreadful. He never should have been allowed to say those things. But he didn't know what to do.

"Don't say that, Franchessca! Now, move your ass over and prepare to be cuddled!" Nivek said with mock fury as he slipped into the hospital bed with the girl.


He wrapped his arms around her and snuggled against the blonde, laying his head on her shoulders. People told him that his cuddling had a sort of emotion-neutralizing effect. His long hair cascaded over part of his face as he lay next to Franchessca, determined to make her at least smile. He sighed and snuggled in closer to her. Nivek lazily drew circles on her wrist with his finger. When she made the comment about sluts being popular he winced. Man, it was going to take a lot of distracting to get her to stop focusing on that. He played with her long, blonde hair and frowned before an idea hit him. He'd make fun of himself. Perhaps if he joked about his own misfortune she would feel less...depressed.

"It could be worse, France. I have to beg Adele on my knees just to get to second base. And people won't sleep with me unless they are drunk." Nivek said and stared down at their fingers which he'd interlaced again.

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WORDS; 473
TAGGED; Franchessca/Tabbycat
NOTES; Nivek feels awful!
OUTFIT; HERE!
LYRICS; I Am Not Alone - Calvin Harris
TEMPLATE BY; Me/Ren

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[franchessca natalie hoffman]

Franchessca didn’t realize how much Nivek was tormenting himself over her near death. She thought he’d actually be happy to have gotten rid of her. He ragged on her all the time for how she dressed, told her to shut up. It was something she hadn’t expected when he seemed hurt by it all. Tears threatened to leave him once again. She could see it. For this, she wasn’t prepared for. Maybe she thought that she’d be able to make SOME people happy with her death. Either way, she felt responsible for making him sad which didn’t please her at all. France looked down at their hands, squeezing his in comfort.

She gasped as he wormed his way into her hospital bed, forcing her to move out of the way to give him space. His head was laid on his shoulder. Franchessca wrapped an arm around him, playing with his hair. It was soft if not a touch oily. The girl thought quietly that if she made it out of this little slump she was in, she was going to wash his hair for him and braid it or something. The young, pale woman cuddled closer to him thinking about what she might possibly could live for. The girl tried to think, but all that came to mind was how empty her life was.

The girl wasn’t expecting him to comment on his own life, so when he mentioned that he had to beg Adele for second base, she cracked a smile. She tried to hide it by turning her head and biting her lip. It was close all the same, a slight snicker left her. True, Adele and Franchessca didn’t see eye to eye, but that was because Adele was a major bitch. But the fact that Nivek was being so honest about his struggles made her smile