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Post by apollo rick summter on Jan 7, 2012 20:11:26 GMT -5
Violet eyes grow wider
Heavy wings grow lighter [/font][/center] Apollo wandered through his house, weary as he made sure to walk around his step father. Even if the physical abuse had stopped, the mental abuse had just begun. Apollo appeared straight, but slowly it was starting to take its toll. Apollo didn’t like girls, but he had to date them. He felt awful when a girl wanted to do more than talk, because he didn’t want to. It just wasn’t fair that he had to do that just for his father.
As he finished doing his hair, he thought about his best friend Manny or Emmanuel. He knew he was gay..And attractive, and nice, and just a great person. Apollo his closed eyes and took a deep breath, No.. He sighed and got ready to leave. He gave a call out to his parents and then he was out the door. He jumped manually into his car and began to drive off almost like he was autopilot. The girl had asked him out right when his step father had been standing next to him. All he could do was say yes, even if he didn’t want to. He would toughen up and do it through.
The girl wanted to meet at the restaurant not far away, maybe a twenty minutes down a road with about three turns. Apollo watched the restaurant disappear behind him, he driven “accidently” right by it and on towards the park. He felt some guilt, but he couldn’t do it, not again. When it came to girls he was an easy flirter, not all that shy. But when it came to unwanted attention, well he didn’t know what to do. It’s not like his step father could find out, Apollo had avoided that disaster by saying he was going to stay at a friend’s house afterwards. It had been a complete lie, but he already had a back-up for that.
The park was a good destination to his rest, to think and mull things over. He got out and didn’t see that many people, a few people playing with kids or just walking about. He walked around silently, thinking of everything he wanted to do, but couldn’t. Maybe it would be safe after he moved out of his mothers house, then he could be free. Do what he wanted.
As he sat thinking on the park bench, he spotted Manny not that far away, and he felt his heart skip a beat.”Hey Manny!” He waved him over. Maybe talking to his best firned would relieve him of his guilty conscience, if he could keep thoughts of his mind. [/justify][/size] |
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Post by emmanuel james marin on Jan 8, 2012 17:17:24 GMT -5
Manny knew it would probably be easier for him to fake being straight, but it was impossible for him too fake something he knew he wasn’t. It was like telling a dog that it couldn’t bark or a baby that it couldn’t cry, it wasn’t like he chooses to be gay. Why would he choose to be bullied all the time, why would he choose to get death threats that made him feel unsafe all the time; why would he choose to get the abuse, no being gay wasn’t something he chose to be. He was just born that way, and he wasn’t going to just change because people would hurt him, and just put him down. No matter how much he feared his own life some days, with the death threats he got and his life at home.
His parents thought that beating their only child would made get rid of some of the gay, and he just dealt with it. Two and a half years, and he just dealt with all the pain they put him through, all the times he wished that they could just accept him for what he is. It wasn’t easy living like this but he had no choice, since he was only seventeen he wasn’t old enough to move and even when he was old enough everything cost money he just didn’t have so in a way he was still stuck. He needed to really find a way to just be free from them, not have to really worry anymore about anyone and anything. Those were just people from his past and staring into his bathroom mirror he poked the bruised area around his eyes wincing with a sigh, he hated people in school. They were always putting him down and threatening him and no one had any idea what was really going on, not even his friends, heck not even Apollo knew and Apollo was his best friend. Apollo didn’t know a lot of things though, he didn’t know about the death threats, the being pushed into lockers, the text messages, and his constant fears.
He just really didn’t see that point in telling him anything when he felt he had control over the situation; of course he wasn’t going to keep it from him forever. Anyone was going to be able to notice the way he flinched when someone touched him or his downward stares when he walked, it was easy for anyone to tell that Manny was scared out of his wits. Dabbing the cover up on his bruised eye he winced biting on his lip pulling down the sleeves of his shirt, sometimes he hated coming home from school or just anywhere when he knew his parents were home. He knew how much they hated him, both of them hated him which only made the fact he was bullied and pushed around at school even worse. He just came home to even more hate, he hated the hate and pulling on his shoes he hated outside glad that it wasn’t that warm out. In fact the day was cooler than most and heading to the park he stared down at his feet. He had to get out of his house or he just knew he would lose it, he didn’t like having to hide in his room all the time and hearing his name he jumped looking over at Apollo when he waved him over.
Walking over to him confused he sat down on the bench beside him, “I thought you had a date. What did you really decide to just ditch it or something” he asked him? It was really any of his business anyways, but hey at least he had his best friend to talk too now. Hugging his self he sighed, maybe today he’d actually be able to tell him everything that was really going on in his life.
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Post by apollo rick summter on Jan 8, 2012 21:32:44 GMT -5
 Apollo smiled when Manny sat down. Leave it to him just to make him feel a bit better. Apollo had too many feelings for a posed "straight" kid. He was just so afraid of his step fathers abuse,and he had heard of Manny's troubles. It was just scary to him. He didn't want to go down as a wimp, but maybe that was all that he was. It tore away at his thought process, it enabled him from thinking some days. Even if he had told his mother she hadn't listened. Who would listen about another gay kid being beat?
As Manny spoke his smile faltered slightly. For goodness sake, all he wanted to do was forget he had ditched the date. He ran his fingers through his hair and gave Manny a sheepish look. "Yeah..I kind of left her at the diner." He fixed his gaze at a spot on the ground. Guilt slowly crept back into him, but it was too late now. As he looked back up to look at Manny he noticed a bruise around his blue eyes. Apollo almost flinched, had it been? No, it couldn't be, right?
It was then he felt his heart start to beat faster. Darn it all, why shouldn't he and Manny be allowed to be gay? Why shouldn't they be allowed to be gay together? He shouldn't even think of that. Did Manny possibly have a crush on Apollo? Well there was one way to find...With a whirl of emotions he couldn't possibly hide anymore Apollo gently laid a hand on Manny's cheek and kissed him.
He broke the kiss and leaned back, quick to speak before Manny did he began. " I love you. I know it sounds odd, but I do. I don't love you as a friend either. I just, I can't hide my feelings anymore. I'm not straight. I never have been. I just.. Something happened a long time ago and it makes me afraid to come out anymore.." His heart soared and his eyes showed all the emotions he felt for his friend.
Now though, he was ever so slightly afraid of rejection. What if he really didn't have the same feelings? That would just.. Apollo didn't even want to think of it. He just wanted to be happy again, happy with someone he chose to be with. [/size] |
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Post by emmanuel james marin on Jan 11, 2012 22:13:24 GMT -5
Emmanuel never acted like the normal ‘straight kid’ because he knew he was never that kid he was always different and he was always going to be that way. Manny was always going to be the gay kid, and a lot of people were really rude because of it. He was called a lot of different names and death threats were a constant thing and not a lot of people knew of really anything that was going on. Reason for that, he was almost scared that someone would really do something to him if he said anything to anyone. It wasn’t that he felt he could handle it his self or anything, because since so many people made his life hell he knew it was almost impossible for him to handle it all on his own. In fact he had no idea what would happen if he even tried to handle it on his own, when he sat down beside Apollo he just noticed his smile right away and he looked down.
He knew he had a crush on his best friend, his straight best friend and that was pretty much the reason why everything felt weird to him now. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship by telling him his feeling either, since they were friends for just so long now and he really did value their friendship. Apollo was his best friend, the person he went to when people were always being rude to him, the person he just always talked too. He needed him in his life, and to just ever ruin it, he couldn’t even dare. Hearing he ditched his date he frowned, “hope you find some way to at least apologize.” He said knowing he probably got the girls hopes all up and then decided to ditch her, he would at least explain the reason for it or at least some form of reason for it. Looking at Apollo he bit his lip; guess he didn’t cover up his bruised eye well enough.
He didn’t ask to get it though, of course he didn’t ask to get it and when Apollo placed his hand on Manny’s cheek he blinked. What was he doing, and that was when he kissed him and he fell into total complete shock and just didn’t know when to react. The minute he pulled away his fingers went to his lips and his face turned a very bright red, listening to him speak. “I-I love you too” it came out in a soft stutter, “I um I have for a while. I just could never tell you, I always thought you were um straight” he sounded so nervous and awkward even. Oh my did he fail so very much.
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Post by apollo rick summter on Jan 14, 2012 13:28:35 GMT -5
Apollo's eyes sparkled with so much hope, and prospect. Manny's red face only made him smile, if only a bit. Even if Manny had no feelings for Apollo, he would be able to live easier getting his feelings off his chest, out of his head. Rejection didn't hurt as much as did hiding things from your best friend. He rather hide from his step father than Manny, Manny was his best friend. The only person he felt like he didn't have to lie too. Now, with his feelings off of his chest, he hoped he hadn't ruined anything. He didn't want to lose the only person he could have feelings for.
Heart thudding fast, he felt like total jelly. Manny actually loved him..back? He almost couldn't believe it. Wad it possible for your to fly?He smiled at Manny's awkward fumbling and stuttering. He shrugged and gave him a sheepish look. "Honestly..I've never been straight Manny. It just.." He already knew he didn't want to finish this conversation, but he had too."When I came out, about three years ago, my step father beat me." He lifted up his shirt to reveal a plain white scar on the side of his stomach. It was a shaped like a two pronged fork, a fireplace poker. He looked up at Manny. "This is the scar he left so whenever I see it, I get scared again."
He let the shirt go back down. Whenever he saw it he also felt like a wimp, the scar reminded him almost everyday that he was too wimp, to scared to stand for what he believed in. It killed him, but some days it gave him a boost. It gave him the idea to stand up for what he believed to be true, or maybe pursue his dreams. No one could hurt him more than his step father could already; that gave him motivation. [/size][/justify] |
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Post by emmanuel james marin on Jan 18, 2012 20:35:58 GMT -5
Manny wasn't really use to the feelings he had when it came too what he felt for Apollo, it was a foreign almost even weird feeling. Never really feeling much love from his own parents, who once only really ignored him up in till learning their only child was gay he almost believed that they forgot that they even ever had a son. It wouldn't quite be surprising news; the couple never quite acknowledged him growing up and when they did it wasn’t pleasant. His parents were always pretty abusive, of course not physically at first but mentally.
All he ever heard insults, up in till he turned around thirteen and he finally came out to his parents. Sure the abuse was sometimes really hard to handle, but he just would never lie to his self. That alone in his mind would be worse than any form of abuse. When Apollo lifted his shirt Manny gasped his hand flying to his mouth in shock, “oh my Apollo” he whispered almost lost of words. “I can understand you being scared really; it’s okay to be scared. I was scared when I came out to my parents and I guess seeing where I stand now, I did have reason to be.
My parents, oh gosh they are just awful people” Manny shook his head. He hated the fact people weren’t just accepting of him, as what he was. It didn’t change him or anything; he was still the same person. He only just liked guys, “oh gosh Apollo. Why does life have to be so difficult sometimes?” he mumbled sniffling, “it’s just not fair. Why don’t we deserve our happiness too, no all we get is people saying it’s wrong to be gay. How can it be so wrong, how can something I can’t help be so wrong?” he mumbled those few words before wiping his eyes. Yes Manny was a total mess lately.
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