tonight, tonight [teddy]

[mikayla leigh james]

Kayla fiddled with her nails and gazed towards the tv, not actually absorbing anything she was seeing. She was too nervous for Teddy’s reply to really think of anything else. He was the one who initiated this conversation and the one who wanted to know if things were ‘cool’ and yet Kayla was still expecting some sort of negative reaction. Maybe she shouldn’t have blabbed on so much. Maybe it would have been better just to say things were cool and be over with it because now she had opened this awkward can of worms all over again. Perfect.

Upon his assurance that things were in fact cool, Kayla looked towards him and gave a little smile and a nod, still somewhat doubting things. Teddy certainly didn’t look like thing were cool, picking nervously at his bottle and letting the room once again fall into silence. Maybe he was making it up? But then why would he have asked in the first place? Kayla once again stared through the TV, the normal flurry of thoughts and worries filling her head. The conversation from the film was the only noise in the room, somewhat mocking their own lack of interaction as they sat here awkwardly until Teddy spoke again.

Initially Kayla looked at Teddy curiously, the slow and purposeful way he said her name drawing in her attention. As he continued though, Kayla’s expression moulded into one of confusion. Laugh about what? She’d quite specifically not mentioned what it was that she was scared of Teddy laughing at and she was quite perplexed by his use of ‘it’. It seemed to strongly imply that he believed he knew what the source of the laughter would be, either showing he was completely on the wrong lines or had somehow figured her out. Kayla desperately hoped for the former, not keen on any more awkwardness tonight.

Hearing his words of ”I like you” would have ordinarily brought a smile to Kayla’s face but they did nothing to soften the blow of the next few moments. Kayla’s eyes grew ever wider as Teddy first gestured to her chest and then assured her that it wasn’t a big thing, feeling like she may have just died a little bit inside. It would be a cringey moment for anybody, but most people would be able to shrug it off with a laugh. For Kayla however, this was pretty much the most mortifying moment she could imagine. Stuffing her bra was almost like confirming she was flawed and generally not good enough and to have someone find this out just increased these insecurities ten fold. If Kayla didn’t think she was good enough as she was, what would Teddy think?

”Teddy!” she gasped, her voice coming out all squeaky as she had a fight or flight moment of panic, unsure of what to say or do to react to this. ”Oh my god...you knew?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowing into a frown and her cheeks flushing crimson. He was being so calm and sweet about things, making this into the non-issue it actually was but Kayla still felt like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. ”Oh my god” she repeated, staring down at her own chest. Was it that obvious? There was now two options she felt- have a hysterical Kayla panic and run off or deal with this like a normal and calm individual. She took a deep breath and very nervously made eye contact with Teddy, deciding to try her best to go for the second option. ”That’s why I didn’t want to..you know” she gestured, figuring that he may have already made this like connection but wanting to confirm it. If her secret was out, she could at least utilise it to actually explain her earlier actions. ”I can’t believe you knew!” she then added slightly more squeakily, her blushing not subsiding at all.

[theodore james caplan]

[/i] find it immensely amusing, but he wasn't going to laugh at her nor was he likely to spread it around school. Teddy wasn't really one for the kiss and tell fandango, and he rarely spoke about the other people he'd been with. If he did, then Kayla would probably know about one of his ex flings, and she would be out that door before he could even mutter the first syllable of her name. No, Teddy kept very quiet about previous conquests, and Kayla would be no different.

Teddy shrugged off her surprise and smiled at her. He knew exactly why she'd pushed him off her now, and it made a lot more sense now he'd taken the time to sit down and think about it. The movie was continuing as they spoke, although neither of them were paying any attention to it whatsoever. Kayla seemed to be making this whole issue into a bigger deal than it actually was. She was building it up to be something completely ridiculous.

"Kayla, it's okay," Teddy assured her. Stuffing your bra was probably the least of the secrets Teddy could imagine in his head that floated around this town. However, it did speak very loudly about an underlying condition of low self-esteem and a feeling of never being accepted. That shouldn't be what Kayla felt. She shouldn't ever feel like that, and Teddy smiled across at her as she began to freak out about it. He shook his head as she blushed more and watched her with a tinge of amusement.

"Kayla, stop!" Teddy said, smiling. He leaned over, placing a hand either side of her on the couch and gave her a long kiss on the lips. He pulled back slowly, looking down at her as he did so. "When I said it's not a big deal, what I meant was... I don't think it's a big deal. I don't care," Teddy explained. "It doesn't change anything - I've known since last night, and it still hasn't changed anything."[/color][/size][/ul]

[mikayla leigh james]

Kayla took a deep breath after her little rant, letting rational thought slowly enter back into her mind. In the grand scheme of things, a bit of tissue down your bra was definitely an insignificant worry but in the mind of Kayla James in one of her panicky freak outs, it was a huge deal. But yet Teddy was so completely unfazed by it that she began to feel a little bit ridiculous about it all. The fact she stuffed her bra had never unduly concerned her before, only the idea of anybody finding out. Somebody now did know, but yet that someone genuinely didn’t seem to care, leading Kayla to wonder why there was the need to freak out about it. Surely if Teddy didn’t care, she should feel the same? The big issue of somebody discovering her secret had turned into a non-issue and yet her brain still seemed set on having a tizzy.


Teddy’s voice was calm and confident as he spoke, a marked contrast to the high pitched panicking Kayla had just been having. She looked at him seriously as he spoke and then watched with surprise as he leaned in towards her and began to kiss her. As Teddy pulled away, Kayla gave him a look of bemusement, quite shocked that he would still be up for kissing after both finding out her loserish secret and then listening to her mad rant. As he spoke though, things began to make a little bit more sense. He’d actually known all this time. He had still wanted Kayla today despite knowing what she was pathetically hiding down her bra. Her expression now sank into one of more calmness, Teddy’s words going a long way to soothe the panic which had been taking over her mind.


Teddy had said his thing and Kayla knew there was now a decision to make. She could either let her shame ruin everything or she could go for this and show Teddy that, despite everything, this was what she wanted. Kayla had believed it was Teddy’s reaction which stood in the way of things but it was becoming ever clearer that it was in fact her own issues which were ruining things. It almost didn’t make sense that the jokerish boy was taking this more in his stride than the sensible girl. Kayla had to buck her ideas up, fast.


Taking a big gulp, Kayla plucked up her courage. Just sitting her watching the movie didn’t seem right after that revelation. She’d made such a fuss that she felt like she needed to quickly sort things out properly. She didn’t want to lose Teddy and in her slightly non-sensical mind, felt the only way of patching things up with him was to try to get back to where they had been. Kayla was desperate for his lasting impression of this night not to be of her having a hissy fit, but of something worth remembering. With this, she made the on the spot decision to delve into her bra. With a shy smirk, she slowly took the padding out, bit by bit and placed them on the floor by the sofa, looking up at him and with the best confidence she could muster, smiling ”I guess then, now you know, there’s nothing stopping us any more”. With this Kayla leaned in to kiss him, glad of the excuse to not have him staring right at her after that ballsy statement. She pulled back after a few moments, standing up from the sofa and extending her hand towards him silently, not needing to say any more to get her point across about what she was after.

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